Unsung Heroes

Today, I was watching the Hindi movie "Lakshya" on TV and suddenly I realised something and was moved to tears..

Death in the family is by far the most distressing and painful thing any person can go through..the pain is unimaginable and that feeling of helplessness when you know you can do nothing to alleviate the pain is very difficult to handle...

The movie talks about the soldiers of the country and how they give their lives to fight the enemy..These people too have families who love them a lot and how distressing it must be for them to lose their sons/husbands in the battle.. We often come across articles in the newspaper talking of some ambush and that 4 or 5 soldies have lost their life. It has become like a statistic.. we read and move on, not for a moment do we think that 5 families have lost their member... 

I think the least I can do is next time I read/hear something like this, I sit and pray for these people, their families, their battalion or task force asking God to bestow them with strength to deal with the loss..

B

Let go

I seriously need a crash course on how to give titles to my "posts". Off late, some of the titles I have given are way awful.. and I believe this one is too..! :(

Anyway, thanks to the new Tata connection at home, the movie I have managed to catch in bits and pieces( on Doordarshan no less!) in the last few days is "Guru", directed by Maniratnam. Its a nice movie with brilliant screenplay and music.. But it made me curious to go and read up a bit about the Dhirubhai Ambani and I found this beautiful quote of his,

"Our dreams have to be bigger. Our ambitions higher. Our commitment deeper. And our efforts greater. This is my dream for Reliance and for India." 

I believe this is a very meaningful sentence and something we should follow all our lives. I often "restrict" myself thinking of some existant or non-existant constraints.. what will people think if I do this etc? Who cares! How much do we care about what Mr.X or Ms.Y is doing? And why would they be any different, why will they think about what I am going to do.. Why should I stop myself from thinking big..

This reminds of an incident in my life. In the first six months of my job, we went on a Team Building workshop for 2 days at ICRISAT. The instructor was a doctor, a pyschiatrist.. if I remember right. The group of people were split into two groups and for one exercise, my group had to wait outside while the other group completed its task. While we were filing out, the Dr came to the door and called me.. And then he said... "Don't hold yourself.. you are good in what you are doing... Let go!". Immediately, I went on the defensive and said.. "No No.., I am not.. blah blah blah"! He heard me out, smiled and went back. Now, I think he was right.. I probably restrict myself a bit.. and its time to "Let go" and  not worry too much about the consequences.. I am not that dumb also :|

So, its time to let go, dream big and work harder on it ! :)

Incidentally, this has been a distressing week as such. Two people on whom I had invested quite a bit of my energy and effort quit.. at the same time! They insist its not intentional or planned for them to be going at the same time.. and I tend to believe it. Anyway, it means I have to chart a new beginning with new folks anytime soon.. Hopefully, I am more prepared this time round and I don't commit the same mistakes I did the last time ;)

Thats about it.. Again "Let go" is my new mantra! 

B

Fear - Is it this?

I heard this about a person I have met... Apparantly the woman is being stalked by a guy for close to 5 years. I don't know too many of the details, but the girl and her family have been unable to do much .. I don't know how true this story is or should I believe it at all in the first place... but what got me thinking is how ignorant I am as a person to deal with something like this.

I imagined myself to be in a similar situation and wondered how I should deal with it and drew well.. a blank :(. We make claims about going to the police or to a lawyer, but how much do we trust them and how does law deal with such situations. There is no tangible evidence available in this case, just a fear pyschosis ....

This led me to think that we know so little of the law of the country. A silly tamil movie "Tamizhan" talked about this and I found it laughable and silly :(. But the point it raised is quite true and relevant - we must know our Indian civil law at a basic level. How many of us know what needs to be done to deal with things like this? Whom should we approach and at what point?

I read a book by John Grisham - the Rainmaker. Here, a black couple lose their son because the insurance company refuses to pay up for the bone marrow treatment that the kid requires. In the course of the courtroom battle, we realise that the insurance company rejects claims over a certain amount all the time primarily because they are convinced the poor claimants(the black couple here) would never approach a lawyer. We are no better ... We don't know our rights, we don't know whom to approach and we certainly don't know how to deal with it.

I read somewhere that US is a developed country where the citizens run to the courtroom for everything.. We may be there in another 40 years time, but till then the current generation must and should learn about our rights and the law.. Any suggestions on how to do it is most welcome..

B

A good one

Sorry, about that rather vague title to this one.. but I really can't think of something nice and descriptive! Just goes to show that I am not in the blogging zone..

Anyway, I happened to catch a good show on TV today in NDTV Profit - Warren Buffet and Bill Gates answering questions posed by students in a graduate school (I presume some business school.. not sure, I started watching in between). I found the interaction brilliant - it was candid, funny and put across the human side of these individuals. I must admit this is the first time I have heard/seen them speak..

I liked the way they took on simple(silly??) questions posed by the students and answered them in a normal and funny way. The things that I particularly liked

- Their definition of success in a non-business scenario.

- How they think that their children will not get all the money they have, but only a part of it. Warren says its against American society to give wealth in dynasty.. their country is about how capable an individual is and how he builds his position of wealth on his own and not given to them.

- How they think the American tax system is not progressive. It taxes all of them in around the same percentages, they feel the rich should be taxed more than others!

- One of the questions asked is how to succeed in your professional life and get into a managerial position. Response was its not only about IQ, its about your attitude.. you must strive to get the best out of others.

- Their commitment to using their money to help people all over the world who do not have adequate facilities

Thats about all I remember now. Do catch the show if you can. If not, next time you get an opportunity to listen to these gentleman.. I'd suggest you give them a hearing. You might just like it!

Ok folks. Bye!

The tangible benefit

In my earlier post on "Intellectual Capital", I had talked about a couple of friends fighting for something they truly deserve. Finally, after a delay of maybe about six excruciating months - they finally got the "tangible benefit" they were looking for! Cheers guys!!

As they say, better late than never.. alls well ends well!

An apology

Close on the heels of my post about avoiding hurtful words, I relate an incident that deserves an heartfelt apology and served as a good, though painful lesson for me.


In my third year of college, I went through some emotionally tough times. It was the sense of loneliness and a feeling of being unwanted in the group.

During this time, I believe I spoke some hurtful words to one of my closest friend. In hindsight, I am not sure I wanted to hurt her.. it was just that I was feeling too miserable and dumped all my frustration on her :(.

I have since apologized to her for those times.. but the incident has never ceased to affect me. This is the thing with hurtful words.. it affects you as much as the person at the receiving end!

Off late, I see these inane stories and TV soaps reeling out dialogue.. people hurt only those they love.. something like endorsing all that nonsense being dished out! I find that hard to accept and doubt its acceptable to anybody in real life.. I think I shall settle for avoiding the words... I don't think I can survive the guilt of having said it to someone!

That moment...

There have been instances in life where I have refused to take that extra effort.. that little step and have lost out on some good, maybe exhilarating experiences.. The ones that come to my mind now are,

- I went to Badrinath, Hrishikesh and Haridwar at the age of 8 accoompanied by my parents and a lot of oldies from the extended family of ours. One day, we were walking this long and rather arduos journey to "Bheeman Pala" - a rock bridge set across the river by apparently Bheema(One of the Pandavas). The myth is that he laid it across to allow his brothers or Draupadi.. I don't exactly remember who had problems crossing the river otherwise. Now after walking about 60%, we decided it was too much to walk and decided to stay back. One of the uncle and his wife went and saw it. Now, to think of it.. I wonder when I will be able to go and see it again..


- Another recent incident was at Golconda fort in Hyderabad. After walking the long path to a dilapidated structure of the fort.. I refused to go in and see the structure! Reason.. I was tired or something like that.. :(. Now, I have quit Hyderabad and am not sure when I will go next and going to Golconda then would be expecting too much...

- During a trip to Haridwar with college mates, the plan was to get up early in the morning and take a "Ganga Snaan". I get up in the morning, feel cold and sleepy and avoid the sojourn. My friends tell me it was a wonderful feeling to be up that early and bathe in the Ganges. Again, when am I going to do that ever....

Now, I won't call the above completely lost opportunities.. there are other things which I would call absolutely irrevocable and cannot ever get back. The above, I may still go down and do them again.. but the question is why did I not?

Now thinking about it, I recollect the above instances. I wonder how many I have missed thus due to that momentary lack of motivation.I shudder to think that I might have lost out on something substantial, something I need because of this...

Is it possible for me to will my mind to do the right thing for me at all times? Does it come via practise? Perhaps it does, and I need to make the effort, a conscious one at that...